Nobody Wants Your Heart

Never Said One Thing

Home Lately

This is from a couple years ago.  After I finished my pop album I realized that I didn’t like how busy it was - there were too many riff-y parts in almost every song.  I made a conscious effort to keep this less busy and I’m really happy with it!

And you can download this by following the link below…

Derek Erdman is an artist who has created many creative businesses.  Aside from selling art (which he also does on commission), you can hire him to write and deliver a custom revenge rap and to deliver it to anyone.  Just give him their number and details about how they’ve wronged you.  And for an additional fee, he will write a non-revenge rap.  He can also be hired to mail a burger to anyone.  He also has a free psychic hotline, a free advice hotline, and can be hired to preside over your wedding for $1000.  If you give him a nice meal and allow him to bring a guest, it’s free.  He does a lot more, which you can find on his site.  I’m inspired by all these creative business ideas and the fact that he can somewhat get by without a conventional job.  He’s adventurous and seems to be constantly taking on new projects but is also very practical in making sure he can support himself.  Also, I like how his site feels like a dump of everything creative he’s ever done.  So here’s my email interview with him of questions I didn’t find in other interviews:

In one interview, you responded to “tell us a little about yourself” by laying out all your insecurities.  Have you always been that open about yourself?  If not, what brought it about?

Yes, I’ve always been forthcoming about myself. Actually, about everything really. I’m horrible at keeping secrets. I just have a tendency to talk and talk. I’ve happened upon people who talk too much, especially right after meeting them, and it’s horribly annoying. I’m sure I’m like that. I can’t imagine meeting me. I’d dislike me tremendously, I’m sure. 

How gradual was your transition to only earning money through your own businesses?  Were you making enough creatively to live off on before you quit your more conventional job?  Did you have a backup plan?

I co-owned a record store for two years with a guy who was obsessed with fantasy sports. While working with him I formulated a plan to sell my share of the business to him and then to figure out how to make money without having to go to a job. Having a schedule is a really good thing, but having to be at a particular place at a certain time everyday for the rest of a life is mentally devastating. I was making some money selling paintings when I had a conventional job, but not enough to live on. It could be argued that I don’t even make enough now. I always get creamed with April 15th comes around and I don’t have health insurance. That’s a small price to pay though, for knowing that if I want to stay in bad all day long, that I can. It’s very important to me to know that there’s nothing that i need to do, only things that I want to do. It’s easy to get lazy though. I’m totally chubby right now. I just ate 3/4 of a bag of salt & pepper pistachios. They’re made by a brand called Everybody’s Nuts and they guarantee that if you find an unopened shell in any bag, you can send it to them and they’ll send you a free bag. I’ve found 5 or 6 but I’m too lazy to send them in.

In one interview you mentioned that you have a 36-12 sleeping schedule. How did you come upon that?  You said that you felt useless towards the end of it.  What sorts of things would you do in that time?  Are you still doing it?

Somebody once told me that there are two good ways to shake off depression. One is to take a bath and stay in the bath until the water is room temperature. The other is to stay up all night. I started 36/12 in 2005 or so, just as a way to be more efficient with my time. I thought that not having to deal with waking up and going to sleep would be an extra 3 hours or so. If you happen to be bi-polar it induces a manic state, which is exciting but the crash is horrible. I haven’t done it in months, I don’t think I will anymore. It’s really hard on the brain. When I used to do it my roommate Lacey would see me around hours 30-34 and tell me how crazy I looked. You get a glazed look in the eyes. Simple tasks become really difficult. I had a habit of leaving water running. There would be 3 or 4 spigots around the house on at a time. I would be in my room reading book about Harriet Tubman. 

You once advised artists to “refrain from using your ‘art’ as a social device.”  What do you mean art as a “social device”?

I think that comes from a problem that I have with elitism. I’ve met a number of people that gained some kind of notability and became absolutely insufferable. Or people that choose some kind of path in a creative field to live a particular lifestyle. I think one should be wary of wanting to do something to act like a stereotype, to have an excuse to be an asshole. I have no idea what I’m talking about right now, really. I think that was something I noticed more in Chicago than in Seattle. I think people here are more genuine in a way.

In one interview you said that you moved because you were becoming less productive in Chicago - it was becoming “too easy”.  What specifically was too easy about Chicago?  Do you feel like Seattle has been harder in this way?  Do you feel more productive in Seattle?

I was in a strict pattern in Chicago. I had a really good house and I went to particular places on a regular basis. I wasn’t agitated at all and it’s good to be agitated. I was terrified to move to Seattle, but now that I’ve done it, I want to move on a regular basis. I want to live in so many different places. I want to live in the south next. Perhaps Athens, GA. I want to live in a crumbling wooden house with high grass and stray cats.

What spurred you on to start the psychic hotline and the advice hotline?  Are the callers for each generally more/less genuine than you expected?

Oh, they’re genuine. That phone never stops ringing these days, and I never answer it. For awhile I wanted to talk to strangers and get an idea of things you could say to people to see what they’d believe. That’s where the free psychic hotline started, I wanted to see how much people would endure and believe. The thing is, people that call those things are somewhat desperate and naive. After awhile it became rather sad, so I would just make up good fortunes. Hardly anything outrageous, just good news for the future.

Anyone In Their Right Mind (Would Fall For You)

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We gotta band together

We gotta stop those monsters

I have saved my hard earned

I got money to burn

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We gotta go to the store

Makin’ weapons we’ll invent

I remember what we swore

so let me take this moment…

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(Chorus) 

You can see I haven’t changed

you can tell I’m speaking true

‘cause anyone in their right mind would fall for you

—————————————————-

The dog is armed

with stakes and exploding gel

he’ll get in with doggie charm

and payback some hell

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we may have some close calls

when he flushes them out

and after the brawl

You won’t have a doubt ( that I had ever changed…)